


Definitely Not X-Factor

by Duck_Life



Category: New X-Men: Academy X, Spider-Man and the X-Men, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Gen, Harry's Hideaway, Humor, Mutants, Navigating adulthood, Team Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:00:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: “Actually,” Santo says, checking his phone, “according to Wikipedia, Serval Industries owns the name X-Factor.”“Fine, we’ll think of something better later,” Victor shrugs. “For now, let’s just call ourselves X-Factor until we think of a better name.”“Roxy and the Roxettes.”“No, Rox.”“Roxy and the Bling! Squad.”“We’re not ‘Roxy and’ anything,” Victor scowls.“Roxy and Her Girlfriend and Some Randos,” Cessily suggests.“We’ll think of a name later,” Victor says.





	Definitely Not X-Factor

**Author's Note:**

> I'll add to this when I get more ideas. Basically just wanted to write a team story where some of the X-Kids get away from the drama of the central X-Men. Also possibly Glob/Iara in the future because they're cute.... we shall see. Comments are always appreciated! Let me know if there's anything you'd especially want to see. (Also I know comic book ages get wonky but in this fic, everyone on the team is about 21/22.)

“Are we sure this place is mutant-friendly?” That's Iara, ever the skeptic. She also questioned whether it was okay for them to be living in the lake house, never mind the fact that so far she's spent more time in the lake than in the house.

“Of course it is,” Victor insists, admiring the hole-in-the-wall bar. “Gambit told me the X-Men used to come hang out here all the time.” He nudges the door open and they all file in, with Santo bringing up the rear.

Once they're inside, the bald, bearded man wiping down the bar gives the group a once-over. To Vic’s relief, he doesn't look angry or scared, just amused. “Who’re you s’posed to be?” the man asks.

Vic puffs out his chest. “We’re the X-Men.”

The man laughs. “Nah, you're not.”

Vic deflates a little. He can hear Roxy snickering behind him. “We’re X… Factor?”

The man looks at them again and nods. “Alright, X-Factor,” he says. “Welcome to Harry’s Hideaway. Hope you survive the experience.” The man— Harry— beckons them further into the bar. “What can I get ya?”

Vic glances back at his team, suddenly unsure. Roxy rolls her eyes. “We’ll take six ciders, thanks,” she says, and herds the team into a booth against the wall. “Jeez, Vic. Tongue-tied much?”

In response, he flicks his lizardlike tongue across the table, letting it strike the back of the booth right next to her head before he retracts it. 

“Gross!” Roxy groans, flipping him off before she loops an arm around Cessily and scoots over toward a part of the booth that Victor’s tongue hasn't touched. As she does, she spots the words carved into the wooden bench. “Hey, check this out. ‘New Mutants 1986.’”

“That’s awesome,” Glob says. “That means Dani and Shan and everyone else used to sit at this booth.” He squints at something carved on the other side of the bench. “Hey, Cess, what’s that little heart over your shoulder?”

She turns around to read it. “‘KP plus IR,” she says. “Who’s KP?”

“Kim Possible,” Vic says.

“ _ Kitty Pryde _ ,” Roxy corrects him. “Kitty Pryde and…  _ oh _ .” 

“What?” Glob says, looking back and forth between Cessily and Roxy, who look like they’re sharing some fun little secret. “What, what is it? Who’s IR? The only IR I can think of is Illy—  _ oh _ .” 

“Called it,” Iara says. Just then, a blonde woman— her name tag says Caroline— stops at the booth laden with a tray of ciders. 

“Good to see kids from Xavier’s hanging out here again,” she comments as she passes out the ciders. “After you folks moved out to Central Park, we were worried business was going to tank.” She laughs a little. “Well, Harry acts like it was about business. Truth is he’s got a soft spot for the X-Men. And he’s been lonely. That wedding a month or so ago, that was the most fun he’s had in a year.” She shakes her head as she hands Vic his drink. “One of you should challenge him to game of chess someday. He’d love that.” 

“Thank you, ma’am,” Glob says, sipping his cider. Caroline the Waitress smiles and the group before disappearing back into the kitchen. 

“How come we hafta be X-Factor?” Santo says. Evidently he’s been stewing about this the whole time. “Why can’t we be X-Force?” 

“Because I don’t feel like carrying a gun,” Victor says, sipping his cider. “Ooh, Roxy, this is good. Good choice.” 

“I’m always right,” Roxy says, leaning over and stealing a sip of Cessily’s cider. 

“Hey!” Cess whines. “You have your own.”

“Babe, I just wanted to make sure yours tasted okay.” 

“Uh-huh,” Cessily says, rolling her eyes. Roxy grins and kisses her before returning to her own cider. “Anyway, Anole, I like the name X-Factor. I just hope we don’t get an army of Madroxes coming after us for copyright infringement or something.”

“Actually,” Santo says, checking his phone, “according to Wikipedia, Serval Industries owns the name X-Factor.”

“Fine, we’ll think of something better later,” Victor shrugs. “For now, let’s just call ourselves X-Factor until we think of a better name.” 

“Roxy and the Roxettes.”

“No, Rox.”

“Roxy and the Bling! Squad.”

“We’re not ‘Roxy and’ anything,” Victor scowls. 

“Roxy and Her Girlfriend and Some Randos,” Cessily suggests. 

“ _ We’ll think of a name later _ ,” Victor says. “Can’t we just enjoy a nice, quiet evening out at a pub?” 

Apparently not, because at that moment a group of three rowdy fraternity brothers stumble in the door. “Hey, get me a vodka Red Bull,” one of them declares, slouching against the bar. Harry starts fixing the drink. The other two college boys notice the friends sitting in the booth. 

“Jeeesus Christ, what the hell is that?” one of them says, pointing. 

His buddy snickers. “Dude, which one are you pointing to?” 

Vic shrinks in on himself but Roxy and Santo both bristle and start to stand, ready to defend their right to be there. 

They don’t get the chance, though, because Harry stops mixing drinks and grabs a sign from behind the bar. It says, ‘We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone’ with a Post-It added that says ‘ _ But especially bigots _ .’ “You fellas wanna go somewhere else?” Harry says in a low voice. “Somewhere where you’re not bothering  _ my _ paying customers?” 

“Dude, those are mutants over there,” one of the guys splutters.

Harry glances over at the booth and then back to the boys. “Yeah, they are. What’s the problem?”

The boys grumble and shuffle, and then the one who had ordered a drink turns to his buddies and says, “C’mon, let’s go.” 

As the door swings shut, Harry yells, “Don’t come back!  _ Assholes _ .” He tosses out the unfinished drink and comes around the bar to where Roxy, Cessily, Victor, Santo, Glob and Iara are sitting. “Hey, listen, I know I called you guys ‘paying customers’ but this round’s on the house,” he says. “I don’t tolerate that bullshit in this bar.”

Victor’s stunned. “Th-thanks,” he manages. 

“No need,” Harry says, and he slips back behind the bar, leaving Victor to look around at his friends, making sure no one’s too rattled. 

Cessily’s laughing into her hand. “Westchester’s fucking awesome,” she says.

* * *

 

Vic wakes up before Santo and slips out of bed, tiptoeing across the old lake house floor. Roxy and Cessily share the smaller bedroom with the larger bed, while he and Santo each take a twin bed in the larger bedroom. 

Out in the living room, Glob’s sprawled across the pull-out couch. “Hey,” Victor mumbles, nudging him awake. “Glob, wake up.”

“Whaa?”

“My bed’s free, you can go sleep some more in there,” Victor says, knowing that Glob likes to sleep in and once everyone else starts waking up, the living room’s going to get pretty rowdy. 

“Mmkay, thanks man,” Glob says, rubbing his eyes blearily as he gets up and pads off to Santo and Victor’s room. The lake house is tiny and cramped but it’s  _ theirs _ , ever since Jean Grey handed over the keys (she, apparently, still had them in a box of her things that Kitty Pryde had hung onto over the years). 

Victor grabs bacon and eggs out of the refrigerator and turns on the stove. There are a couple pots and pans banging around in the cabinets here. Eventually, they’ll have to think about taking a trip to Goodwill to stock up. This place, he thinks, could genuinely be a home for them. 

Iara comes in from outside dripping water on the floor. “Good morning!” she says, stealing an uncooked bacon strip and popping it in her mouth. “Sleep okay with Rocky’s snoring?”

“Heh, yeah, I’m used to it,” Vic points out. He glances out the window. “Did… have you been sleeping in the lake?”

She shrugs. “Yeah, why?”

“But… it’s freshwater,” Victor says, wrinkling his brow. “That doesn’t make sense.”

She snorts. “Whataya want from me, Victor, I’m a shark head on a girl’s body,” she points out. “None of this shit makes sense.”

Later, after they’ve all had breakfast and Glob has finally woken up for real, Victor sits the team down to make some big-time decisions. “Alright,” he announces. They’re scattered across the living room in several mismatched chairs, with Roxy and Cessily sharing the couch. “So we should probably, like, go on a mission. Right?”

“Might be a good idea,” Santo says. “Otherwise we ain’t superheroes we’re just… squatters, I guess.” 

“Hey, there’s our team name,” Roxy says. 

“No, okay, how do we find, uh, people who need our help?” Victor asks. This was a lot easier with Kitty Pryde or Wolverine just telling you where to go. But that’s kind of the point. They need to be the ones telling themselves where to go. “I guess we could walk around town and keep our eyes peeled?” 

“Welcome to the 21st century, Lizard Boy,” Cessily says, holding up her phone. “I just checked Twitter. Apparently there’s a bunch of flatscans being held hostage at a bank in Salem Center.”

“Yes!” Glob says, pumping his fist. “I-I mean, oh no, crime!”

“Alright, now we’re talking,” Victor says, clapping his hands together. “X-Factor… or, or, whatever… suit up!” 

They change out of jammies and sweats and into the uniforms they brought with them from the Institute. Roxy’s added some pins and accessories to hers, as well as the scarf Chamber gave her, and Glob’s really just wearing a utility belt. They’re ready. 

As Victor surveys his team, he frowns. “Uh…”

“Hey, genius,” Roxy hollers from the other side of the room, “you managed to put together the only team of X-Men without a fucking teleporter.” 

“Yeah, none of us can fly, either,” Iara points out. “You want me to swim there?”

“No, no, come on, we can figure this out,” Victor sighs. He looks around the room, like a solution might just jump out at him. Nothing. “Okay. Somebody call an Uber.” 

 


End file.
